My eyebrows are bushy :|

August 16, 2008--Around 4-5 in the afternoon

Once I got the IM, I had to reread the message a couple of times to comprehend it. In fact, I even had the feeling that this was just some weird virus. But when another came, three, four, five, ten windows all laid out on the computer screen. I just stopped. I was so shocked that I didn't have anything left in me for tears (that is, until now, of course).

We all know that Eeka was just your usual quiet and shy girl. Despite that, she'd always be willing to help out or teach or listen. And I'm sure that she's helped every single one of us a whole lot.

I met Eeka in second year. She just came from St Scho and was just starting to fit in. I now feel the guilt of the times when I'd be slightly put off by her quietness and her non-Assumptionistaness. Eeka, I am so very sorry. I wish I could have apologized to you face to face.

As the days went by though, I'd see her walking home alone, so from then on she became my carpool mate. She never whined, or demanded. I'd actually have to tell her to ride home with me today. :))

 Also, I could see that Eeka really is a very selfless person. She always brightens up people's days with her cute little voice and her arms always opened wide for a hug. When Eeka sees you at your worst, she doesn't say much, but her hugs meant everything. It meant that everything was going to be alright, that I was loved, that she'd always be there for me, that I wouldn't go down.

She truly is the epitome of unconditional love.

The last time I saw her was when we went on a gimmick at Glorietta last Friday. She paid for most of our karaoke time as she listened to us butchering her favorite songs when she, in fact, has such a wonderful voice. I was lucky enough to hear her singing once and it gave me goose bumps.

When it was time for her to go (She was leaving earlier because her family was going on a trip to Sagada), out of nowhere, I decided to hug her goodbye and we parted ways happily. Little did I know that it was going to be a different kind of departure.

Ultimately, this made me realize that we are not invincible.

 When we see people dying or suffering in the news, we always have this preconceived notion of pity, and assurance that this can never happen to us. We, who are so spoiled, so powerful, so young, so pampered, so self-attached. We can not die.

But Eeka's passing has really made me realize the truth. After all, she was one of us. She is our batch mate, our classmate, our friend, our sister, our mother. She was you and she was me.

In line with this, I think that we really ought to get to know each other at more than surface level because we have limited time to do so. Everyone has a story to tell, and this is Zulaika Rivera's story. I know that she has more knowledge and experience to tell of but what she has left me with has already created a deep impact on my life.

Last Saturday, I had a hard time falling asleep. The YM window bearing the tragic news of Eeka's departure kept popping up in my head. It was so hard for me to let it all sink in. 

But then when I did fall asleep, I had a dream. I dreamt of Eeka. I dreamt that I was in school and she was walking towards me in the familiar open-armed motion. And I said, "Woah! You're okay naman pala eh!" And she hugged me and smiled and nodded.

Eeka, thank you for reassuring me as you always have. I know that though you aren't physically here anymore, your memory will be able to sustain me through most anything.

May you live forever. I, we love you so much.